theheartofmen

We all will get to that phase in life when we are faced with that inevitable hurdle called marriage. Some people will get there when they are still young and naive and are not really aware of the evils of humans, others will get there knowing the possible outcomes and not caring; but there r the selected few that will stand at the edge of that bridge…..too scared to cross it and too scared to go back. What exactly makes a person decide to cross that bridge? I’ve long since ruled out love because we have long since established that it’s never enough. So, what is that thing that makes one person look at the other and conclude that they’d like to “grow old” with said person?
Unlike most young people today, I refuse to view marriage as a joke. It is not something to do because everybody is doing it. When u say, “Let’s grow old together” you better mean it.

Lately, more often than not, I find myself trying to mentally list the qualities that are “all you need” to start a journey with a person and I find myself at a loss every time. When a man or woman has all you want physically but nothing you want mentally or emotionally you clearly can’t go there. When a man or woman has what you want emotionally but you can’t get yourself to be attracted to them then what? BALANCE.  The way I see it, the same way you aren’t complete as a person so is the person next to you incomplete. No human being can give you all you want at every point in time thus you should find the person that can give you all you NEED. It is never enough that a person is good on paper. He/She comes from the right family, has the same religious beliefs as you. Has the right job, blood and treats you like a king/queen. Good on paper doesn’t always lead to that happiness that boils out from deep inside you. That thing that makes you smile in the middle of an important meeting just because you remembered the way his face was when he dramatized something for you. I know that when you’re trying to settle down people will advise you to put practicality over passion….I say fafafa….fowl.

One shouldn’t exist without the other. Practicality helps handle home front issues, manage your money, raise your kids etc but passion…..passion helps you not go to bed angry, passion ensures that your husband/wife remains your best friend and that you never forget that you’re partners in good and BAD. There is no marriage without love and passion is a product of love.

So back to my original question. At what point do you look at that person and say “I wanna grow old with you”? At what point do you decide that out of all the one gazillion men on this planet, most of which you have never met and will never meet, that it’s this fellow or lady you want to be with for eternity? Most people these days don’t think this through. They don’t study the words contained in the marital seriously until they are already in the marriage. It is important to consider those vows before accepting or giving that ring (engagement). I don’t really have so much advice to give on this topic because I am yet to cross that proverbial bridge, but I would implore all of you single guys and gals that are hot on the trail of marriage to take a step back and ask yourself some hard questions.

All My Love.