theheartofmen

Archive for November 2012

First of all I’d like to apologize for my long silence. My life has been overtaken by a series of exciting yet somewhat challenging events….all is right in the world now though so I’m back observing the world around me and running my own private or not so private analysis. Today I wanna ask my fellow ladies a question.

You are above 26 years old, you see yourself as a “hot babe”. You have a job or a lucrative business, you come from a good background and you don’t have any medical condition setting you back; there are so many reasons why you might be single but tonight I just want to address one that seems to be attacking me at every corner these days. Are you looking for a Partner or a Benefactor?

This might seem like a weird question but the truth is that most girls are looking for a benefactor without even knowing it. When you set certain financial criteria and you don’t have any intentions of helping out then you are looking for a benefactor. There is nothing wrong with this if only you would be honest with yourself first. Don’t waste your time trying to paint a picture that doesn’t really portray what you are searching for. I once knew a girl who from day one always said she couldn’t and wouldn’t date a man who isn’t RICH talk less of marrying an average man…guess what? It worked for her. What exactly qualifies a man as a benefactor? Well, a benefactor is that man that since you started dating you have not spent a dime off you own money. He pays all your major and minor bills down to the 5k you spend to fix your hair. The moment you defined your relationship he took over (in some cases even before the definition). You have one of his cars with you permanently, he gives you weekly/monthly allowance, fuels the car he gave you, you suddenly start changing your hair weekly at his expense…in fact there is a visible “great change” in your life. Well, as sweet as this is, it comes with a price. Every girl loves to be pampered and showered with gifts but there is a different between a benefactor and a partner. The benefactor doesn’t receive and he doesn’t care….lol… If you have a boyfriend that does everything for you and on his birthday you just give him a cake and maybe a card then he is your benefactor.

A partner might not have a lot, but he tries to give you little guilty pleasures from the little he has and you in turn give him. You spend your money on the little things and you pull your resources together for the big things. You see your relationship as a joint venture; you contribute to each other’s lives both financially and mentally. You are “friends”.

It is very important to know exactly what it is that you want so you will be well-informed of the sacrifices you have to make. If you are the type that doesn’t like to be told what to do, you don’t want a man to tell you when and how he wants to see you then you cannot build a home with a benefactor; but if you know you are lazy and want the opportunity to be a housewife and have things like, what to make for dinner, what gym to register in blah blah blah as your most difficult decisions then by all means keep hunting for your benefactor.

See y’all next week.

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  • None
  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, "...no matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌

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