theheartofmen

Archive for May 2013

skeleton

Skeletons are generally associated with death and evil even though they are the frame holding our bodies together. In a normal setting a skeleton should stay hidden.

Once I spoke with a friend who told me that she felt it was only right to divulge all secrets before getting hitched or while dating or whatever floats your boat. Well, this is a touchy subject because while some people, male and female alike, would want by all means to know every damn thing you have been up to in the years following your meeting, other don’t care in the least.

I happen to fall in the category of “others”. Wetin I go carry that information do? If a man was a player in his past and broke hearts and broke engagements and you truly can see a change, you can honestly without a doubt say he loves you and only you then what are you doing with his history? This only creates useless doubts. Truth is, no matter how much you trust or distrust a person in your heart it won’t change the outcome of events unless you truly don’t love that person. But today I don’t want to talk about the past…I want to talk about the skeletons we carry on to the next relationship/marriage. No matter how faithful a person might want to be, if you do not give your past a proper burial the skeletons in your closet will dance out one day and then what?  Did you just ask me to define Skeletons? With pleasure;

A skeleton is that person in your past who you probably love more than the one you are with but you made a wrong decision and now you have to live with the consequences. These things happen; but whether you like it or not (especially if you are married) there is no flesh on a skeleton’s body. This simply means nothing good can come out of dwelling on the past and sabotaging your future.

So many guys out there these days are married to one woman, for reasons best known to them, and they love another. In some cases the “another” is wise enough to move on with her life and in other cases they are not so lucky. If the man likes let him buy you a country, you are not his wife. The sooner you tell the bloke to buzz off the sooner you can heal and move on. Pain and loss are an integral part of life so why prolong it?

In cases where it’s the woman that has the skeletons, lol, some men might view these women as promiscuous but I don’t think that’s the case. The average woman will be loyal to the man that appears to care about her the most. If a woman stays with a man that ill-treats her it’s probably because nothing better has come along. If a GOOD woman drifts towards her past lover(s) it is because something is missing from her current relationship. Rather than judge her, try to find out (directly or indirectly), where you have failed her. A woman would only chew on bone when the flesh is tasteless; a man can chew on bone simply because it is available.

We all have a past, some are livelier than others, some are more difficult to let go of than others but it is important to remember that no matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in the first place. Then I ask myself, what about the unexplored skeletons? Those people that made our hearts race but we never got a chance to explore? Can they be classified as skeletons? Well, to some people all unexplored territory belongs in the past, to me….I’d make sure you lay that ghost to rest before you dream of moving forward. Whatever way you chose to interpret the last line, as long as it works for you that’s fine. Lol……Enjoy!!!

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Hey people. I know my posts are rather rare these days, but I figured that it’s better not to post than to post stuff that won’t make much sense. Lately, more often than usual, I find myself thinking of the basic ways to keep myself happy. A lot of young people are depressed….yes I said it. They worry about so much inconsequential stuff and the slip in and out of depression for the most stupid and fickle reasons. I’m not saying I don’t get depressed or that I don’t think about fickle things but the difference between me and them is that I’m constantly reminding  myself of what is important and what isn’t thus my depression doesn’t last.

Here are some of the tips I have for staying happy;

1)      Don’t think about what you don’t have, if you feel you need it badly work for it rather than waste your time thinking.

2)      Dress for yourself. Stop bothering about what people would think of what you’re wearing and just dress in a way that you’d be attracted to yourself.

3)      Don’t sweat the small stuff.

4)      Give 110% in your job. There is a satisfaction that comes with knowing that you have done your absolute best.

5)      Give to charity. You mustn’t have money to help others, sometimes you presence is more important than silver of gold.

6)      Keep an open mind about your relationships. Nothing is set in stone. Why have sleepless nights over a person you are not yet married to? My dear until you say “I do” you had better get as much sleep as you can.

7)      Keep a journal. When you write in your journal it reduces the tendency of you divulging secrets to people that aren’t worthy of hearing them.

8)      Have a hobby. You need to have something that you do when you want to find peace. For me I watch ANY available series. Some people read, some work out but everyone should have one thing that helps them escape the madness.

9)      Indulge. It’s ok to indulge in your guilty pleasures once in a while. That high calorie snack that you love but you know it’s not good for you. That hot guy you like to flirt with even when you know it could never go beyond that.

10)   Don’t expect too much from people. Everyone around you is hopefully human; this means that they are prone to mistakes. Don’t ever tell yourself that a person is perfect or that they can never hurt you. As long as their blood is red they can hurt you.

11)   Avoid negative people. Some people are so dissatisfied with their lives that they move around spreading bitterness. RUN!!!!!

12)   Most importantly PRAY always. There is this peace that comes after you have poured out you heart to God

COMING SOON!!!!! “THE SKELETONS IN OUR CLOSET”



  • None
  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, "...no matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌

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