theheartofmen

Archive for December 2011

Merry Xmas readers. Last time I wrote the first part of a story that was supposed to shed a light on what some girls have been through and I was(and still may) to follow it up with some of the possible ways these girls end up. It might help you understand that friend slightly better. But in the meantime I’m not Tchidi Chikere so I’m gonna talk about a topic a darling friend of mine brought up 10 seconds ago. “Umunwanyi na ego”….”Women and Money”.

One of the oldest professions in the world is PROSTITUTION….lol…yes it is.

All humans are naturally greedy…but to what extent are we willing to go to satisfy ourselves? That’s the problem…young girls these days are willing to go to any length to foot the bills they created for themselves. What ever happened to simple living? Having the things you need and can afford @ that time? You wanna carry the latest LV and yet you don’t have a J.O.B? What the hell? I’m not saying you can’t dupe all these useless old men that think they are smart…but how far exactly is too far?…Honey…if you r DATING a married man and referring to  him in front of peeps as “My bf”, then you have gone too far. If u find yourself dating multiple married men you are at the edge. If you find yourself going to foreign countries to sleep with men that “pay better” you have fallen over the edge and need to be tied in a mountain of fire church.

I’ve always believed in something…hard work…it’s true it doesn’t always pay off financially but there’s nothing as satisfying as having rest of mind.

You are going to all these lengths to look hot and own “stuff” and in the end all it’ll do is attract more married men and chase away the young brothers. Have you ever asked yourself why all the seemingly posh hunks end up with girls who will not normally measure up to you? The pick these girls up, clean them out and bring them into their homes, meanwhile they still drop some lyrics your way every now and then but nothing for you. Don’t get me wrong, if your ambition in life is to be a “big girl” then you are on the right path, but if eventually you wanna settle down, then my dear it’s time to go back to the drawing board and re-evaluate your life because you’ve got your priorities mixed up. It is wise to leave the stage when the ovation is loudest.

She had only been 16yrs old when it happened. She had believed it was her fault. Surely she must’ve done something to make him think it was ok to do it to her. Maybe it was the way she dressed, walked, or even her laughter that had led him on. But what she didn’t know was that there was no justified reason for rape. Nobody on God’s green earth has the right to take advantage of your body without your consent. It doesn’t matter if you are 16 or 60, it’s wrong in the eyes of both God and man.

Missy was 16 when she got into the University. 16 was a young age to be starting uni but she had always been faster than her mates. Funny thing is you couldn’t tell she was 16 by just looking, and she sure as hell wouldn’t volunteer that information. She told everyone she was 19years old and she looked the part. Her peers were between the ages of 18 and 21 and that made it easier to blend in so it was no surprise Julius took a liking to her.

Julius was 26, a final year med student. He had it all…tall, dark, handsome and rich. Every girl’s dream, especially at that age. She became the envy of her classmates when he started showing up at her class with gifts. Flowers, chocolates, cards, jewellery…Julius was pulling out the big guns. His pride was at stake. He knew every girl wanted him but he couldn’t stop thinking about the one girl who didn’t want him. All he needed was one date and he was certain by the next morning she would be fawning over him.

The thing is this; the mind of a “well brought up” 16year old is very different from that of an 18year old. They might both want gifts and money, but the 16year old thinks a 26year old dude is “creepy”. But when you let people believe you are 19 they begin to wonder why you have turned down a 26year old star who appeared to be head over heels in love with you.

Fast forward she agrees to have lunch with him. Its day time, what can happen in daytime….

“I’ve decided to cook for you Missy. I might have only this chance with you and I want to make you my sole focus for the length of time we have.”

At this point a lot of girls will swoon in their heads and tell themselves how romantic this was. Missy was terrified. Her first instinct was to get out of the car and keep running, but no mature lady would do that, so she sat still. Fast forward; after an amazing meal, they sat on the couch to play mortal combat (the video game), and somewhere between the Raven’s fatality move and her screaming with joy that she had won, Julius kissed her. It felt really nice at first and then she started to relax a little. Then his hands started to snake up her waist. She tried to move it down and his grip got tighter, his kiss got more demanding, so much so she could swear she tasted blood. Adrenaline began to rush through her veins everything became red and she stared to shake.

“Please don’t do this Julius. I will do anything you want. I’m just a kid.”

He looked at her, with eyes that she didn’t recognise and a smile that must have been from the devil and said “you, a kid, honey you’ve been jerking me around for months. Now this is happening with or without your consent. I advise you sit back and enjoy the ride.”

She tried to struggle but it was evident that her struggles fuelled his desire. She screamed but nobody came. She prayed but nothing changed. He didn’t tear her clothes; he simply pinned her tiny form down with one hand and undressed her with the other. When eventually she was totally nude he looked at her and said; “I’m gonna enjoy this” and with a satisfied smile the thrust into her. Her scream was so loud that it ended in a croak, she was sure her tears had burned a hole in her cheeks. He didn’t seem to notice the blood that gushed out of the side of her thigh. She had never felt anything like this. She could no longer speak let alone beg. This must be what death feels like. Every muscle in her small body hurt. He pulled on her hair and bit her nipples. He kept mumbling rubbish and sweated like a goat herder. She knew she would never forget the smell of his sweat. Eventually she blacked out. She was quite conscious but she was not aware of what was happening around her. She remembered him guiding her towards the bathroom. She remembered the water running over her skin; she didn’t remember the temperature of the water. She remembered getting dressed, sitting in his car, and walking into her room.

She lived alone so it was convenient. She lay on her bed and didn’t move until she heard a sharp knock on her door. She checked her watch and it was 6, she didn’t know if it was AM or PM. Her visitor told her that they hadn’t seen her after her date with Julius on Saturday afternoon and this was now 6am Monday morning.

This is the story of how Missy’s life turned into something she never planned for.

It’s a word most people don’t like to use when referring to themselves but it’s a concept that’s very common amongst spinsters. You are closer to 30 than 20 and your mother has started calling you every Monday to know if you have met someone new. It’s getting worse now because the year is coming to an end and most of your peers are either getting engaged or planning their weddings. You tell yourself over and over again that it’s not really bugging you, but in the dead of night, those few minutes just before you fall asleep, you tell yourself the truth. You admit to yourself just how irritated you are that you are spending most of you savings on asoebi and travel expenses just to attend weddings of girls you feel you are 10times hotter than. You tell any available ear how wayward these girls were back in school and how life is so unfair….lol….nne you have become desperate. Men sense desperation and they don’t like it. Their initial instinct is either to run or take advantage. When a young boy, between the ages of 28 and 32 starts talking marriage the first time you guys sit to have a proper chat, that’s one of the signs that you might be sending the wrong signals. Trust me that dude isn’t thinking of marrying you just yet, but he’s bringing up that topic because he thinks that that’s what you wanna hear at that time. Next thing you know this girl is pampering him, cooking him meals or buying him meals…lol…fantasizing about their future together, getting detailed info about his village, parent’s occupation even his blood genotype. This is what I like to call “too much too soon”. You don’t even know if the dude is a wife beater or if he does drugs and yet you’ve picked out wedding rings? If that’s not desperation then I don’t know what is. Most times these guys will let you fool yourself, string you along, sleep with you and run for the hills. Can’t say I blame them. I’m closer to 30 than 20 so I sympathise with these unwed girls but like I always say, what makes you think marriage will solve all your problems? From where I’m standing I see that marriage comes with a whole new set of problems. It’s important to look at the positive side of being single. Doing what you want when you want it, you don’t answer to anyone. You still have your figure, it hasn’t been changed by child birth…lol…i know right now you are so lonely and all these things seem trivial, but 10years from now, when your husband doesn’t look so hot anymore any yet he still gets lustful stares whereas you chase unruly toddlers all over church and parties, you’ll wish for just 1 more day of spinsterhood. Ladies take your time, loneliness is like being horny if you are smart enough to wait it out you won’t do anything you’ll regret. Men are attracted to self-assured, self-efficient young women. Let your life be so busy that he’ll have to keep making himself available just in case you can squeeze him in between fun activities. I’m not saying you should turn into a party animal o, I’m just saying you should keep positively busy; work, gym, church, charity, occasional hang with platonic friends. This helps remove the stench of desperation.

Tell yourself this “I’m 30 and fabulous and the reason I’m still single is because my Spartan is yet to find me. xoxo



  • None
  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, "...no matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌

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