theheartofmen

Archive for November 2011

Most guys and girls have a specific type of person they are attracted to. Some stick to the traditional tall, dark and handsome; some are into nerds. Some girls are all about the money while some, people like me, are all about the way a guy carries himself. Let me give you a brief description of my “spec” as we call it in Babylon (Portharcourt).

He’s handsome, not necessarily in the way that every girl will appreciate. I like my men a little rough around the edges but at the same time well-groomed. I’m not particular about height as long as he isn’t skinny. I’m not particular about riches as long as he is mobile, isn’t feeding from hand to mouth and doesn’t expect me to cater for him. I dislike softies….i like a challenge. I don’t like a community man (everyone knows where he’s been). I don’t like the crowd pleaser…in fact the more people dislike you the more attracted I am….lol…there’s a lot more that constitutes “my type” but in my 20+ years I’ve come to realise that dating that type doesn’t work out.

I have a lot of friends and I realise that most people make the mistake of dating the same guy in a different skin. If you like a certain type and you have been sticking to that type over the years without success, now is the time to change it. I have decided to take a bold step and change my spec, or better still not have a spec at all. Maybe I’ll end up with a nerd, or a crier. You never know who will love you for life. Most times we complain about the ones we love not loving us back. Have you ever thought that maybe….just maybe it would be a good idea to give the ones that love us a chance? That dude in your office that never irons his shirt and tells awful jokes. Your best friend’s baby sister that you watched as they changed her diapers; or that dude that lives on your street that you never see without a book. Sometimes our life partners are right under our noses and rather than reach out and grab them, we spend precious time analysing and re-analysing all the possible reasons our other relationships never work.

This week let’s all try something new. Why not accept to go on that coffee date, or see that girl as a little more than a booty call, or that dude as a little bit more than an ATM. It’ll amaze us what we can see once we look beyond the surface. I’m not assuring you that the nerd will turn out to be exciting o…but it’ll be fun to try. If nothing else at least you’ll get a good laugh out of it. But it’s time to step out of our comfort zones and try a new “spec”.

Dear Nerd,

Wanna do lunch on Wednesday?

Xoxo.

 

Sorry

Posted on: 21/11/2011

We apologise for the break in transmission. We will soon be back with a bang. Stay safe

Was just having a conversation with a friend about the rate at which marriages are collapsing these days. Seems to be that more marriages are collapsing and some of the ones that have not collapsed are better off collapsed. My friend seemed puzzled about this but I’m not and I’ll tell u why;

In the days of old, naïve little girls got married to young enterprising men. The women were taught that their job was to cater to their men and produce kids while the men were taught to work hard and provide for their families. Once you turned 18 as a woman you knew that marriage wasn’t farfetched. All the reasons for getting married were in order. Submit to your man and raise your kids right. The story has changed.

Now women want so badly to measure up with the men and the men are in a hurry to pass a selected amount of their responsibilities to the women…pity. Young girls are in such a hurry to get married and have “Mrs” attached to their name that the illusion doesn’t survive after the lavish wedding…no I’m not talking about the Kardashian scandal…this happens in our society every day. The only difference is that the naija girl will stay and have a kid or two before taking a walk.

What I’d like to know is what the desperation is about? Yes we all get lonely sometimes and get a bit jealous when we see other peoples’ kids but if you end up in the wrong marriage you will beg for those lonely days. You overlook things you normally wouldn’t stand just so people don’t say you are “picky”. There is nothing wrong with being rationally picky because contrary to popular belief, marriage is not the end of a race; it is the beginning of an entirely new one. You are gonna have to live with this person for the rest of your life….at least that’s the way it was designed to be.

So what if you are 30 and single? It’s better than being 30 and divorced or 30 and beaten to death or 30 with a man/woman that makes u contemplate suicide or murder on a daily basis. If you are in a relationship enjoy it…if you feel you want different things free the dude/babe. Marriage marriage marriage….there is more to life o!!!

Let’s make this a fun topic. Please leave a comment telling us why YOU think a lot of marriages fail these days and we’ll address the most intriguing idea…..Bless



  • None
  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, "...no matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌

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