The List

Posted on: 09/08/2012

We all have a list of dos and don’ts. A list of what we want out of a relationship, what we want our future husbands/wives to be like. When you start to advance in age or the universe is taking its precious time in getting you where you’d hoped you’d be financially, you start to take stuff off that list. People around you start accusing you of being too picky and choosy so you take some more stuff off the list and before you know it you end up with a person that you have nothing in common with. The kick in the groin is the fact that most people don’t realize this until a few minutes/days/months after that amazingly expensive wedding and by then you can’t turn back; not just for religious reasons, but also because of the “what would people say” factor.

I recently met a girl whose marriage has just crumbled after 6months and it is amazing how she suddenly remembers all the things she overlooked that she normally wouldn’t have. Yes, some things on our lists really should be taken out e.g.: I wanna be with a guy who has a 6pack. Truth is nobody would have a 6pack forever. As a matter of fact when he is relaxed and starts getting a home cooked meal every night the 6pack will slowly start to fade away. Physical attributes that are sure to change with age should be taken off the list. Things like skin colour, height, eye shape and other weird fetishes can be on the list because they are not likely to fade.

Before you draw up your list, take a good look at yourself. Assess yourself fully and be certain that you have what it takes to attract the kind of man/woman you have described. You can’t be enormous and want a 32-year-old stud with muscles for days and owns his own very successful business and is a house owner in Parkview. Yes, it is possible for a +++ size female to attract a hot stud but over time I have come to discover that most times these dudes are scrubs. They either want you money or your daddy’s money (we will learn how to identify a scrub later). You want to attract a well-rounded stud? Research and find out the kind of girl they’d ordinarily go for and brush yourself up.

On a more serious note though, the part of our list that should under NO circumstance be stricken out is our character assessment column. Every man/woman knows how he or she wants to be treated. The moment you start compromising in that area, you are in for a shocker. A few items in my character assessment section include;

  • He should be very God-fearing.
  • Very family oriented.
  • He should be able to put me first sometimes.
  • I should be able to tell him ANYTHING honestly.
  • He should be able to make me smile.
  • He should be able to bend over backwards for my sake.

These are just a few. I came up with these items after studying my adult self. I realized that I always give 110% in relationships so I have to end up with someone who is willing to do the same or else I’m doomed. I care a lot about what  my partner thinks of me so I have to be certain he isn’t a judgmental person lest I spend the rest of my life TRYING to live up to his expectations. I am shamelessly in love with God and He will ALWAYS come first, how will a relationship with a non-religious person work?

You friends and family might think your list is stupid but it really isn’t. Assess yourself and then draw up a REALISTIC list to match your personality. Also take into consideration the negative things you can condone and the negative things about yourself you’d expect him to put up with. Eg: Arrogance is generally judged as negative, but I find it attractive. There is something very attractive about a man who people have to think hard before they approach (as long as I hold his mumu switch though). I have the natural patience to deal with arrogance; it’s both a blessing and a curse. On the other hand I’m a planner and I over analyze everything. Dating a planner is very frustrating. I plan everything down to the exact minute but that’s not the bad part…lmaoofff. The bad part is that when it doesn’t go according to my plan I throw a tantrum an I freak out… then I start analyzing every single detail, most times I’m correct but nobody wants to be told what they are thinking. Thus I need a patient man.

What I’m trying to say today is this; KNOW THY SELF. Only after you know who you are can you know who you want. Ladies and Gentlemen; draw up your list.


1 Response to "The List"

this statement is a hit for me…………….Arrogance is generally judged as negative, but I find it attractive. There is something very attractive about a man who people have to think hard before they approach (as long as I hold his mumu switch though)…………. i Love mehn with some arrogance****wink *******wink*******

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  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, " matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌


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