Posted on: 08/05/2012

I often times find myself blaming some girls for their long-term singleness, but there are some stories you hear that make you vibrate with anger. I just got off the phone with a dear friend who just got out of a run-in with a modern-day Wizard. I asked for permission to publish her story and I got it. I’m not telling this story to make us even more scared of guys, but it’s just to show that there are higher levels of evil than being cheated on. As for the men, I am not going to speak in your favour today because after hearing the heartbreak in my girl’s voice, I’m not your biggest fan now either.

For the sake of confidentiality I’m gonna call my friend Steph and the guy Jerk.

Steph has always been one of those girls who tell the world how sceptical she is about men but deep down she is an optimist, always wanting to give an eligible looking guy a chance. It might take her a while but she basically has an open heart…at least she better pass me. Anyway she met Jerk  10 months ago. They had been introduced by a mutual friend. Steph disliked him immediately. There was something about him that didn’t quite add up. He acted like he wanted to marry her the next day and she was well aware of the fact that nothing good comes that easily. So my girl treated him like a 3rd class citizen. It was hilarious. She made him work for every smile he got out of her. After a while everything seemed to fizzle out. He wasn’t her type and he seemed to be getting tired of chasing a small girl

One day, out of the blue, Jerk calls her up to catch up. They talk as just friends and seemed to have a decent chat, maybe because he wasn’t trying so hard anymore. Over the next few weeks they seemed to get along. She was giving a chance to someone who wasn’t typically “her type” and it seemed to be working out. I even remember her saying to me one day “Babe, in my almost 30years on earth, I have never had a man love me this much”. I was so happy for her I remember wishing that I’d have such luck. He had started to get close to her family. Had drinks often with her brothers, bonded with her sister and her family. He promised her the wedding of her dreams (he could afford it), had started to search for the perfect engagement ring. An epic love story if you ask me. It wasn’t a relationship based on materialism or looks. My friend is a gorgeous girl but the guy isn’t the sharpest knife in the cupboard. She loved him either way. He made her feel special and found new ways to make her feel like a princess EVERYDAY. Before you start judging he didn’t need to spend money to do this, I guess he just knew how to love her right. The only place where they disagreed was SEX. She doesn’t believe in sex before marriage and he did. He wanted to have sex as soon as possible and she kept avoiding it. He’d claim to respect her decision but after a few weeks it’d come up again. In hindsight, maybe it was God’s way of warning her.

Anyways fast forward to my phone call with Steph.

“Shebbi you advised me to date outside my comfort zone and give this guy a chance?” I said YES with excitement, hoping that the quiver I heard in her voice was from joy and that she was about to tell me that he had officially proposed.

“I just found out that Jerk is married with kids.” I almost collapsed with shock. In my life I have experienced and heard some horrible stuff but this is the most shocking so far. It doesn’t make any sense. How can someone go through all that stress to get a girl? To what end bikonu? Was he going to marry her as a second wife? Was it just about sex? I’m not sure we’ll ever have the answer to these questions. I just advised her to cut him off and put herself together which I hope she would be able to do eventually.

When I hear stories like this I embrace being single with both arms and legs too. When a girl who typically would stay in her shell deeps her foot in the water and discovers that it’s boiling hot what do you tell that person? How so you convince her that it’s just that one guy and that the others would be different when you don’t even believe it yourself. Married with kids? That’s like the height of it o!!!

I honestly don’t know how to help my friend and I won’t mind a few ideas so I don’t end up making things worse with my own anger.


2 Responses to "WIZARDRY!!!"

He is sick and will get what is coming to him.. he better not wonder why! Wicked man both to Steph and to his wife and kids. He even had the guts to mingle with her family! Lord help us! Na wa. She shouldn’t let idiots like him stop her from meeting the right person for her. SHe will just have to dust herself and keep going.

My sentiments exacltly

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  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, " matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌


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