New man New life

Posted on: 23/04/2012

A friend of mine recently got engaged. Yes…we were all happy for her. In fact I carried the wedding on my head because the girl has been my friend since I was a toddler. All of a sudden, we discovered we were all off her blackberry, and I’m thinking “omg, what’s happened to me friend”. So I give the girl a call and she gives me a speech about how she decided to work on her life and take time off from the world and blah blah blah. To be honest I can’t confidently say I understood what she was on about, but I went along, told her I hoped she found her way and all that. She told me her wedding would be at the beginning of the second quarter and I was excited. Couldn’t wait to see what the ashebbi looked like. Was waiting for a date so I’d buy my cheap Aero tickets.

Fast forward to last week; I am talking to a mutual friend and I hear the babe has changed the cell phone numbers. WHAT!!! Sacrilege!!! She changed them and she didn’t even bother updating anyone. Wedding is in a few weeks from what I remember even if I was never given a date. What does that tell you?

I really wanna address this issue. What is it with girls thinking that marriage signifies rebirth? Yes if you were a wh**e you are expected to shed your old ways and start afresh; but when you are a regular girl, who may or may not have done regular ish, then what’s the big idea turning your world upside down? Fact is that whether you want it to or not your old friends would fizzle out as your life changes so why force them out and create potential enemies when it’s not necessary? There are a couple of reasons why this happens.

The man. Some men think that the best way to control a wife they don’t trust is by changing her entire clique of friends. Using emotional blackmail they make these women change their contact details. Phone number, email, the get off facebook and twitter. It’s amazing. What I wanna know is, how does this assure that this woman will suddenly metamorphose into a good wife? How does changing her number certify that she won’t cheat? The answer is it doesn’t. Altering a woman’s life to ensure that you are the centre of her existence shows signs of a weak man. A man should be confident enough to know that without any form of bullying, he has his woman’s heart and she won’t dare mess with him. Why would you want to marry a woman you can’t trust? If you feel her past is too gory for you then free her. Let a man who doesn’t care about stuff like that marry her rather than changing her entire life to suit YOU, because like it or not, her eyes will open one day and she will resent you.

The woman. Some women think that finding a husband translates to being born-again. Usually I don’t have the time or the patience to even address those ladies but it’s getting annoying. You hang with your single sisters, misbehaving and fornicating round town, maybe you even won some souls for the dark side while you were at it. Then you get up one day, and rather than try to carry them along on your new-found spiritual journey, you tag yourself as better than them and you cut them off. I’m the spokesperson for an individual’s right to change at any point, and I understand that you might need to change the way you relate with some people, but when you change your entire life and cut people off entirely, trust me it tells a lot about you even to the so-called husband you are doing it for.  It tells me that you don’t quite understand what being a Christian is and you were never really my friend to begin with and I don’t need such people in my life.

I know that after reading this most girls will still not learn and they will go ahead and make the same mistakes. Just remember one thing especially if you are my friend; when you fool yourself and come back, there won’t be space for you.


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  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, " matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌


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