theheartofmen

Don’t get it twisted, I know what I deserve!!!

Posted on: 17/04/2012

As I was in the shower this morning it hit me that part of the reasons I have not had the best relationships in the past is because I didn’t know my worth or what I deserved. Over time I have come to realise that a lot of women are being mistreated because they don’t know that they deserve better.

Years of bad treatment makes you start to expect less from men. The less you expect the less you get because men by nature will take advantage your insecurities and capitalise on them. Even the ones that come across as trying to help boost your self-confidence do it at times because this would tie you to them without realising it you feel indebted to them thus landing you right where you started from. So this morning, in the shower, I checked myself out and I said “you are a spec oh, it’s time to raise your expectations. When I say expectations I don’t mean material expectations. A woman is precious and fragile and should be treated as such. The moment you begin to see yourself as precious you will carry yourself as precious and then anyone who isn’t ready to treat you as precious will be too scared to come near. Even when they do come near, they either adjust or get lost because you’d know better.

Before you ladies go running away with your heads I’m not saying you should toss humility out of the window and walk around demanding that doors be opened for you and your bills are paid o!!! That’s not it. A man can give you more material things than you will ever need in life and still be unable to make you happy and another man, a relatively financially handicapped man, can love you so well that excessive financial security ceases to be the top on your list. You start to look for ways to bring him up because you can confidently say that he will never let you down. Personally I think relationships built on emotional security are better that those built on financial security. I’m not saying a governor’s daughter should go after a welder or an auto mechanic. Frankly I don’t know what you guys would be talking about since in most cases these people might not be half as educated as you. I don’t mean to discriminate but life is not a Nollywood movie. You don’t go around defying your entire family only to run after your auto mechanic. This is Nigeria. Blue collar workers can barely feed most times and they can barely speak fluent English.

Before I begin to digress let me get back to the topic; it’s very vital for a lady, to know that she deserves to be loved and pampered as much as, if not more than, the next girl. So ladies be smart. If that man doesn’t care enough to want to know how you are doing every day, take a walk. If he feels very comfortable “chopping” your money when he doesn’t bring anything to the table, take a walk. If he slaps you, raises his voice at you unnecessarily, treats you like a maid, disregards your dreams and puts his first every single time, take a long walk. The most painful part of all this is that when you catch this dude with a girl he really adores you will realise he knew the right way to behave all along. So don’t settle for less than you are worth and even if you feel you’re not worth much don’t let it show, over time your sense of self-worth will increase as long as you surround yourself with people who appreciate you. Don’t condone cheating or ill-treatment because you feel men are hard to come by. Men are everywhere and maybe you’ve just caught one of the multitudes. Toss him back out if you can’t correct his bad habits and cast your net again.

Do you have any idea how many men will kill to get a good woman at their side? Stop settling for less today and you’ll find out. Like I always say; “I’d rather be with no one than with the wrong one”

 

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1 Response to "Don’t get it twisted, I know what I deserve!!!"

Nicely said and written!Dont settle for less than you are worth… it avoids unnecesary issues n the future…

The right person for you may not seem forthcoming now… but that is not to say ladies should settle… keep waiting.. like you said, i’d rather be with no one than with the wrong one… very nicely summarised!

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  • None
  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, "...no matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌

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