Posted on: 09/04/2012

Happy Easter everyone. A few days ago I was having a conversation with my sister and she said “I think your problem is that you don’t do enough shakara”. This has had me thinking for days now oh! What basically constitutes shakara? From what I gather, it’s not the regular withholding of sex that we’ve all learnt and mastered, it’s the holding back of our affections. Apparently there is also a limit because too much shakara is bad and not enough shakara is bad too. I come across as mean to most people, but the people who know me well enough know that I’m affectionate, to a fault. When you meet a guy, even if he is an established toaster, you have to create clear lines in your mind from day one. If you want it to lead to something serious then you switch to shakara mode. What is shakara mode?

He calls you in the morning, while you’re at the office, you are watching one tv show or the other online because it’s a slow day, but you pick the phone briefly and say “hey Booboo can I call you back? I’m in the middle of something”. Little would he know that that something is Gossip Girl. He asks you to spend the weekend at his and you give a long list of stuff you have to do that weekend, throwing in a few supposed favours for church and for family…lol…. Meanwhile you dey roast for house. He thinks it’s a good idea for you guys to go and visit his mother but you object giving him the excuse that you think it’s too soon just so he doesn’t realise how desperate you are to meet his family. They say a girl shouldn’t be too available or easily accessible in a relationship. I say all this game playing gives me a headache.

It’s a known fact that human beings thrive when they are scared and uncertain. They begin to pull out all the stops to try to keep you in their life; but there is one major thing you need to consider before you commence playing games. Is he really into you? If a guy doesn’t feel you as much as you tell yourself he does, then you will look like a complete fool trying to play hard to get because the brother isn’t trying to get you in the first place. But trust me, the hard to get thing, while being extremely difficult to pull off, especially if you really like the dude, works like a charm. As much as it’s not one of my strongest traits, I have done it before and I can confidently tell you that any guy I don’t show love from the beginning doesn’t let go. They spend so much time and energy trying to break your proverbial barriers that they fall in love with you. They are constantly looking for ways to put a smile on your face that they end up finding out all the tiny cute details about you. They’d work so hard to get you that when they finally do they can’t imagine losing you. If played well, this could give you a permanent leg up in the relationship/marriage. I’m not saying it’s easy, it’s tough as hell; but he that is down really fears no fall. You’ve tried it all and you are still single. As long as you are still getting toasters you are still in the game so why not pull out all the stops? I know that I’m about to resume the meanness because being nice and happy all the time hasn’t done much for my love life. Men love torture so why not give it to them?

Always remember that it’s important to;

Quit while you’re ahead

Don’t make the man think you’re a slut

Don’t make him think you don’t have any feelings

Don’t let him feel he is your only toaster

Be constructively busy (don’t give stupid excuses)

When eventually you are certain he is yours, don’t let go of the shakara, keep him on his toes.



5 Responses to "Shakara!!!"

*clears throat*
I say if you must play games be sure you will be fine if you lose… There are some mad chess players out there.
This brings an idea for a post to mind 🙂

lol – hmm I am not a huge fan of games, I just don’t get it. I like you, you like me.. why are we playing? LOL I remember I had to come to terms with this after been out of the market for too long and what people told me was to play ‘the game’ – mehn I adapted ‘the game’ to suit me.. i no sabi do shakara… pretending to be busy et. al… and erm.. long story short i didnt need to play the game and it worked perfectly.. lol

If people want to play games all well and good as long as the aim of the game is to be in a long term relationship if it all works out fine… not just to win and move on to the next.

interesting post.

Shakara sha. Is it necessary? I don’t think it is. Like angelsbeauty said, if I like you and you like me, why play games? I do know some people however who actually aint playing the game but it does seem to other they are. How it comes across as playing games to others, I am yet to decipher.

Anywayz, to cut the short story even shorter, shakara aint good o. Yes, don’t make him think you are a slut and all and all but all the same, if you like a guy and he likes you abegi, no shakara and lose him to a babe wey no sabi wetin dem dey call shakara o. It hurts

Games are highly overrated, but then again you might come across the type of man who if you do too much shakara he will move to someone else. the confusing thing is that you are right, some men like a little shakara.

Me sha one thing I know is that some ladies dont know the difference between shakara and insulting a man, only thing I will say is when doing shakara apply the laws of common decency and think if someone did it to your own brother (presuming you have one).

” I can confidently tell you that any guy I don’t show love from the beginning doesn’t let go.” Yet still none of these relationships seem to have led to anything special or timeless. (Reference; “any guy” meaning, many have…)

Shakara (hard to get) does not (have never & will never) increase the worth of the lady in the eyes of the guy. He was very okay with the qualities he saw before he even attempted to ask out.

Nurturing a relationship is committed ‘hard work’, why wear the guy out with ‘pre-hard work’ even before the start of the relationship with ‘shakara’?

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  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, " matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌


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