Clean out your closet.

Posted on: 27/02/2012

I just got off the phone with a friend. During the conversation it hit me that most girls my age make the same mistake I make; we don’t clean out our closet. By closet I don’t mean the one with our shoes and clothes oh, I mean our lives. We carry our unattended baggage into the next relationship and destroy it before we begin. It’s wise to assume that whoever you are dating has his/her own baggage, that way you may realise that there really isn’t any space for two broken people in one relationship. There is no way that’ll ever work, and even when you do force it to work it would be unhealthy.

What really am I referring to when I say BAGGAGE? It’s that guy on your bb that you tell how much he means to you even though deep down he really doesn’t mean much but you keep him anyway because you like the attention you get. It’s that boyfriend or girlfriend you have broken up with officially but still care about unofficially and keep them hanging around for those days when you are particularly lonely. It’s your friend’s boyfriend that you are weirdly close to, you know he has feelings for you, you would never do anything with him, but you just like the idea of knowing that you can have what you friend has. It’s that relationship that you know is already over, you know it has no future whatsoever but you keep holding on because you are so used to having him/her in your life you don’t want to try something new. That man who meets our financial needs but not our emotional needs but we all know that girls of these days think money is more important than love. That crush you know will never reciprocate you love but you keep a space open for him anyway. That boy who would never have a real chance with you but you keep him around just incase.

Baggage destroys us whether we realise it or not. All single girls in my age group have baggage but have we ever tried just saying “NO” to all this dead weight and keep to ourselves until something new and genuine comes along? Trust me that relationship that you have refused to pronounce dead is already dead whether you voice it out or not. It might be very difficult…God knows that as I am saying this I’m hanging on to dead weight too… I started to type a message today to end it all but I chickened out. Don’t get me wrong oh, I’m not saying I don’t feel the love, but really when love has no destination what’s the point? Everything mustn’t end in marriage but at least it should have a long enough life span to be worth your time shouldn’t it?

Some people are lucky; they find a good partner that makes the mess in their closet evaporate without them noticing, but others aren’t so lucky. People like me. It has thus come to my notice that I’m going to have to swallow my phobia for “no attention” and clean out my closet because I need to move on or rather start afresh.

After the baggage is gone comes the rebranding. The time to build the version of YOU you want people to know and love. It’s not easy, I can’t stress that point enough, but it is highly necessary.

You’ve tried everything else; you might as well try this…xoxo


1 Response to "Clean out your closet."

Nice one

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  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, " matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌


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