theheartofmen

Valentine’s Day

Posted on: 20/02/2012

Last week was Valentine’s Day. I’ve often wondered what the purpose of this day is. The people in successful relationships call it lovers’ day and the single ones try to put a Christian spin on it. Let’s call a spade a spade; it’s one of the days that people who are in love get to show each other how much they mean to each other. Some people talk crap about how love should be shown everyday blah blah blah. Truth is it’s not humanly possible to show a person you love them every day because you don’t really love anyone every day. There are days you look at your partner and you just wanna punch them…lol. Fact remains that you love them more often than you don’t.

This valentine’s day I said something to a friend, at the time it might have seemed kind of cold, but I hope I made sense. I said “I don’t want to spend another valentine’s day with a person that might not be there the next year.” Sure it’s lovely to receive gifts and all, but what’s the fun in receiving ten gifts from ten different guys or girls when none of them might make it to Christmas or they all end up going home to people who are not you? That’s where I think people have gotten the holiday all wrong. Birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries and even the guy’s own birthday I might care about the gift, but on Valentine’s Day I want to hear “I love you” and I want to be able to believe it. I want to go to bed with a big ass smile knowing that even if my better half might not be beside me his love is still there. How many people can say that?

Women are the biggest culprits here oh! They make such a fuss about the presents that they forget the story behind it. If a guy gets you and engagement ring on that day its sweet and romantic, if he gets you designer shoes and stuff like that the gift has no depth in my opinion. In as much as we appreciate these things and love them, what’s the guarantee that there isn’t a girl lurking around with a matching bag at his expense? I’m not saying everyone must get engaged on Val’s day oh! What I’m saying is that there should be some sort of emotional depth to that gift. Spend time with me rather than buy me some perfume that I’ll use up in a few months.

This year I spent Valentine’s Day alone. I was so angry for the better part of the day and I really couldn’t explain why. Then I sat in my bed, just before midnight and it hit me. I wasn’t annoyed because I didn’t get a card or some present, I was annoyed because I was alone. I wouldn’t have cared if I had just sat at home playing “ludo” as long as I didn’t have to do it alone. Then something else occurred to me, I have NEVER been happy on Valentine’s Day. Not because I have always spent them alone, surely you don’t think I’m that pathetic. It’s because all those years, the gifts, the dinners and the “I love you”s have never really been sincere, they’ve been a mere formality. This year 2012 I spent the day away from my man angry and feeling left out of the celebration, in fact I almost picked a fight and then I realised that for the first time I actually believed the “I love you” I was hearing on Valentine’s Day and that gave me the smile I was looking for.

It’s not about the flowers that wither, or the cake that makes you fat. It’s not about the teddy that will eventually smell funny or the perfume that you’ll use up. Not the dinners that only last a few hours or the sex you can have any other day. It’s about that satisfying feeling of loving and being loved in return that can’t be compared to any other thing. That confidence you have to pick a fight and hold your ground because you know that you guys would eventually make up and it would be like you never fought. That tingling sensation you get when your phone rings and you know it’s him or her without even looking at your phone.

I’m always the first to say love sucks and love is too hard…yes it is hard work, but when it’s right it’s soooooooooooo right. So I might have had a rotten Valentine’s Day, but I had an amazing last 30mins of it and I hope all my readers had and amazing day but if you didn’t keep the faith your Val’s Day could be tomorrow.

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  • None
  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, "...no matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌

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