Blast from the past

Posted on: 15/02/2012

I was going through my facebook “notes” and I came across this post I wrote a year ago. I think this was when I first got the idea to start blogging. I decide to put it up as a mid-week delight. ENJOY!!!

10 Ways to keep your man!!!

Yes this is 1 of my usual acts of joblessness…lol…don’t be mistaken oh… I am quite single hence my immense wisdom… don’t criticize, just read and laugh.

1)      Understand him A LOT, love him A LITTLE: this simply means that u should spend more time trying to figure out what goes through your man’s head at each time of the day than being head over heels in love….Let’s be honest ladies, love makes us quite stupid and often times selfish… Take for example; you’ve missed your man the whole day and you’re furious he hasn’t even called/texted u. Rather than exploring all the possible reasons for this(rationally) we go ahead and give him “attitude” when we finally reach him….. Sometimes, it really isn’t about u.

2)      WITHHOLD sex: This has been known to work even for married couples.. Naturally humans value what they work hard for. Women pride themselves in the illusion that sex makes men weak…lmao…how can you get excited over a cup of sand when u live on the beach? Sex doesn’t make him weak or make him love you anymore…but when you display strength and will power, that’s the real trip… Men seem to like stubborn women.. (I wonder why) but mind you there is a difference between being stubborn and being rude oooo if them slap u I no dey.

3)      Be SELFSUFFICIENT but NEED HIM sometimes: Sounds conflicting abi? This simply means that there are some things that you should be able to achieve for yourself… you can’t bother him about gynecologist appointments, hair money and other things that appear strictly female… but when you need to prepare for a job interview, even if you believe he won’t know squat about it, still ask his opinion.. They like to believe that they are smarter than us so why not let them…. Anything to allow peace reign jor oh!! So go ahead, involve him in your life especially the part that involves thinking and calculations… flatter him about his deep insight and great intellect even if deep down you’re wondering who the hell signed his degree. Lol

4)      Don’t NAG: Women shrink when their men put them and the word “nag” in the same sentence… I hate that too… but the truth is women nag a lot it’s soooo annoying… you are shrinking away because you probably don’t know what that dude means when he says you are nagging.. you really don’t have to complain about every single wrong thing he does.. yes, it may annoy you but for Pete’s  sake does he give you sleepless nights over that horrible eye shadow you wear? Or those jeans you have refuse to admit are now a size too small? Or the fact that you can’t seem to look away from food even though you’re about to hit 100kg on the scales..abi is it the potty that we cook and call food but he eats with a smile because he loves us?.. Sister if you find yourself complaining about the same issue more that 3times then you are NAGGING. How can you do the same thing over and over and expect different results? There is more than 1 way to kill a rat… try plan B,C,D…etc until you get the result you want.. He won’t even realize you’re talking about the same issue. So next time a guy accuses you of nagging, you know it’s time to change tactics..

5)      SPACE: This is soo important you have no idea… a night out with the boys… Allow him to go out, talk, compare notes, flirt a little.. Time to realize that he probably won the lottery when he found you… You sef take time off, look hot, hang with your friends.. talk about anything BUT your man, clear your head and remind yourself that it’s not a do or die affair (except of course you are married)..Allow yourself to be VEIWED by other blokes, this adds loads to your self-esteem and in turn makes you less needy. Take a trip alone, atimes allow him to do the same … space is very good for relationships even if you are married… the fact that you’re with someone doesn’t mean you should lose yourself completely..

 6)      Don’t snoop around because you will definitely find something: What most people have refused to admit is that “what you don’t know won’t kill you”. This can also be applied to guys and girls…Atimes it could even be that the dude is fed up and doesn’t know how to give you the boot…atimes it’s just that he’s been a naughty boy. .but either way you end up on the pleading part of the fence, trying to make things right. Men come with the “offense is the best form of defense” gene in their DNA…you can’t win a fight except you catch them in the act. This is very much in sync with my next point;

7)      If you THINK he is cheating don’t attack without proof: This is very vital because you can’t bluff these men. If you feel you can use reverse psychology on them in this area you are gravely mistaken. All your ranting and finger pointing will do is make him go back to the drawing board and come back with a BANG…lol…your best bet is to catch him pants down or shut the hell up till you do.

8)      Don’t cheat: Cheating on your man is the most stupid revenge I have ever heard of. Whoever gave you that idea should be shot 2ce in the head…lol…all that does it degrade you…yes you guys might cry and get all mushy and swear never to hurt each other again.. But what you don’t know is not only will that dude do it again. .he will NEVER forgive you for what YOU did, and that will be his first class ticket out of your life if need be…if you feel so pained and you have the urge to cheat? That’s your cue to walk out on his ass…because no matter how much foreign education we might have acquired WE ARE NOT WHITE and an unfaithful wife can never convince any naija person that she was well within her rights.

9)      Stop playing the victim: Women are always bitching about what men have done to them, how they can never trust any man bla bla bla. You carry such baggage into your next relationship and whether you like it or not it shows because you obviously already have a biased mind. All your guards are up…and when the shit hits the fan u say “men are dogs”. We know they are dogs but honey they all can’t be bad…there must be something you too are not getting right… You probably need to work on yourself too. So let’s all take time.. reflect…even if it means taking an ex out to lunch just to find out what made you so difficult to stay with… it’ll go a LONG way.

10)      Finally, every man wants a multipurpose girlfriend: You should possess the ability to transform from GF to Sister to Mother to Wife to best mate and atimes to Stranger or Counselor as the need demands. This isn’t as hard as it seems…but you can’t always be the girlfriend “babying” the poor dude all over the place… Some days he wants to wrestle (not in a sexual way), some days he wants a well cooked meal and a clean house, some days he just wants to talk about the fears of his childhood, some days he wants to know that you have his back, not just because you’re his girlfriend but because you really and truly care…whether or not there is anything in it for you in the end.


So take the Bible’s definition of love, mix it up with the Mills and Boon novels, and the low budget Romance movies and watching our grandparents call each other names (playfully of course) and apply it to your life…Love is HARD work we should earn a salary for it… but I guess that’s where the kids come in.

Take the advice of a long time single gal freaked out by the concept of relationships and love and do with it as you may… Hopefully it helps someone…. Xoxo

Awwwww funny how time flies…for those of you who didn’t read this on facebook way back home it at least made you smile.


1 Response to "Blast from the past"

This is very powerful. keep it up!

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  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, " matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌


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