theheartofmen

Love, Sex and Marriage

Posted on: 31/10/2011

A lot of girls, especially those between the ages of 18 and 25, are very familiar with the saying; “If you love me you’ll do it”,”this is the only way I know to show you how much I love you”, “Do you think I just go around sleeping with every girl? It’s just because I love you o.” fa fa faaa foul…

In my 20+ years on earth I have come to realise that even if the men will never admit it, there is no direct relationship between love, sex and marriage. We don’t always love who we sleep with and we don’t always marry who we love, neither do we marry who we sleep with. Some lucky people get all three in one blow, some give a lot of sex and their own version of love before the finally find the one to marry. Some get married for their own version of love and seek the sex and real love elsewhere. It’s a harsh world out there but if you apply certain logics it might not land you a husband o…but to me having someone to love you for you is a lot more priceless than any husband.

Let us go back to our first loves, for some ladies they were 18, some as young as 12yrs old. Remember when you and that bloke talked of running away from home, you talked of the kids you’d have and the country you’d base in. Majority of those relationships were without sex but the love was pure. There were no hormonal impulses clouding their judgement….well at least until they turned 21. I know a good number of those couples that are married today. Here’s the downside. The men NEED to get IT out of their system. While that woman is loving him and not even dreaming of another man’s touch, the man goes out to spread his royal oats…lol…if you are lucky he does this before marriage. Don’t fret, it’s just sex. Believe me when I tell you that there is rarely any love between him and “them girls”. I have come to notice this type of love in small communities where they all know each other’s business. I’m sure a lot of people who grew up in Benin City can relate.

If your 1st love doesn’t work out you start to experiment and explore, it is worse if you had sex with the 1st love. It leaves you disorganised and disillusioned about love. This is when you first hear a girl say “all men are pigs”. Heart break will do that to you. If you are lucky the second will be patient enough to be your last (esp if the 1st heartbreak wasn’t severe). He is lucky because even though you have been with someone else, you are just as naïve. So if your 2nd love is a good guy you are lucky; but if you meet a jerk…lol…its downhill from there.

By the 3rd dude u have a biased mind about love. And I’m referring to all the ladies that are sexually active at this time of their journey. If you are still a virgin then you are very lucky because you are still naïve and relatively a priced bull…you’d still have full confidence in your market value. You don’t sit all day wondering if he really loves you or it’s just sex. You’re innocent enough to believe its love. At some point after guy number 3 some girls change, they decide that enough is enough and they are going to close their hearts and their legs till Mr Right comes along. Then they start to realise that such a person doesn’t exist. Some fall off the rails a few times while some stick to their new-found “innocence”. They learn to play dumb and it works for them eventually. The “okachamara” ones will not adopt this trait. They dissect every “I wanna be with you” and “I love you” until they convince themselves they are being played. It then makes it impossible to have a drama free relationship. This is caused by the missing chunk of your self-esteem. That chunk got missing somewhere around guy number 4. You are so desperate to be sure a man wants to spend his life with you before you sleep with him. A major question is; must you sleep with him? Why does sex have to come into every relationship you have? You have done it enough times and yet you are still alone and cynical so what makes you think it will change things this time? Guys often say “I can’t buy food without sampling it” that’s crap talk. Dangle a 25year old virgin in front of them and they’ll push you over 3rd mainland bridge. Men want what they can’t have; it’s the oldest known fact. Leave a little mystery. Sex is even a sin anyway so why offend God for a man who might not stay?

I know by now most girls are rolling their eyes saying “na she get her mouth, it’s easier said than done”. Honey I am as anti-male as the next girl, maybe even worse but I don’t lie to myself. Just because you have convinced yourself that sex is a way to show love doesn’t make it right. Fact is if a man wants to marry you it doesn’t matter if you sleep with him or not. Sex doesn’t “bond” people together or make relationships stronger. It only enslaves the girl. Ask yourself this; “if it bonded the nigga to you, why did he still cheat?” and just because you didn’t catch him doesn’t mean he didn’t cheat. If you enjoy having sex be honest with yourself and say “I’m sleeping with him because I’m horny” don’t say it’s because you love him or crap like that. That can be true for young love, but when you’re over the age of 25 and you lost your innocence, it’s just sex. You sleep with a guy who expects you to take birth control pills? And you tell yourself you’re in love? Really? If your relationship is “right” why are you preventing an extension of it?

Close your legs until he puts a ring on it, if possible until he puts two rings and a white dress on you.

Somebody’s got to say it……………….

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2 Responses to "Love, Sex and Marriage"

Lol.. Agreed.. Two rings first.. Perfect time!

Even after we moved from d caves, men have not stopped hunting…lol!

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  • None
  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, "...no matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌

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