Who is a good man?

Posted on: 24/10/2011

He opens doors for you, he always picks you up. He calls at odd hours just to say he was thinking of you. He cooks you dinner on Friday nights and runs you a warm bath on Saturday morning. He goes to church with you on Sundays and is best friends with your family. He buys you lovely things and talks about how beautiful your kids will be….kisses you on the forehead and hold your head while you cry for stupid reasons…He rubs your back when it’s your “ladies time” and feeds you hot soup when you have a cold..

Problem is, we don’t know the difference between a GOOD man and a DREAM man. The above is a clear-cut description of a dream man.

Let’s analyse this; if he’s opening the door for you did he give you his hand to put in your box so he can’t do the same for a different girl every day of the week? What makes you think it wasn’t Shania that cooked that lovely Friday night dinner when she was leaving earlier? I guess my point is that there is nothing on this list that states that you are the only beneficiary of this dudes swag. So let’s go back to the drawing board and see if we can figure out what a GOOD man really is.

He is DEPENDABLE: In times of trouble (not necessarily financial) you can look to him for advice and support. You can take his word for it every time because his word is his bond (or however that goes).

He’s FAITHFUL: You are always number one. Even if he carries other women occasionally its very obvious you are the ONE. You’d never catch him or have cause to suspect foul play. There is no room for that.

He’s MATURE: Before a man starts a proper exclusive relationship a certain level of maturity is required. In the recent past I have come to realise that this isn’t a function of age. I have met 35year old men that think they are toddlers. Maturity comes when you realise that no matter how much fun you have drinking, smoking and doing all the evils that come with them, it is important to have a structured predictable aspect of your life that is actually going somewhere: job, roof over your head and a good woman with a good head on your shoulders to nudge you in the right direction when you lose your way.

He’s STABLE: He knows what he wants out of life and he goes for it. His path doesn’t crisscross out of confusion. He at least tries to provide the basics for his girl even if he can’t always meet up. Ladies, Brazilian hair doesn’t classify as basic…infact money for hair doesn’t classify as basic because you should be able to sort yourself out you are not invalid are you? He can give you the occasional pocket money which is not necessarily higher than you salary oooo. He can take you on night’s put. Just general stuff that makes you feel special without killing him financially.

He lets you IN: He lets you in his life, his heart, his home. You speak with his mum once a week, you come close enough to have a key; you can spend days in his apartment even when he’s out of town. He’s not afraid to profess his love for you even as his bb status. He’s not ashamed to humiliate himself to gain your forgiveness. He trusts you with everything and you trust him too.

A good man is not really hard to come by, the problem is that most men don’t even know they can be “good” until they meet the right girl. Sometimes he comes already well put together, sometimes we have to work at getting him there…either way a good man is very different from a dream man. He doesn’t need to cook to show that he loves you…you’ll just know. Even if he doesn’t open doors you’ll know he respects you.

So ladies it’s time to stop thinking of the guys we read about in our fairy tales and Mills and Boon novels and look at the man standing in front of us.


1 Response to "Who is a good man?"

Notice how in your “good woman” post, you stated that a woman had no business being unfaithful. The only missing word is “abomination”. And I totally agree 🙂

However, in this post, you go ahead and unashamedly say “Even if he carries other women occasionally its very obvious you are the ONE. You’d never catch him or have cause to suspect foul play. There is no room for that.”

So a bad man is the one who isn’t smart enuff to cover up foul play? Shame on you!

And by d way, the dream man does exist. All he needs to do is meet the right woman and he’ll bcome the dream man good man all rolled in one in the blink of an eye

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  • livelytwist: Interesting topic that we need to come to terms with. As you pointed out, " matter how much you miss your past, there’s a reason you left in th
  • angelsbeauty: Word!
  • Bee: Spot on 👌


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